Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Hyena's LiveJournal:

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Monday, January 5th, 2004
9:26 pm	well here i am. sitting at the computer with the AIM on. and suddenly, i've realized, how quite pointless it is. granted there are many people online, but the only ones i really want to talk to are not available to me and heck. quite frankly, i don't feel quite capable of conversation with the others. questions of "how was ur break?" intrude my ears and pierce my heart. how was it? i'll tell you. it went quite well. just one thing sorta turned it sour. the "spend the holidays with the people you love" made me cringe. christmas carols to "dearests" and loves made me sick. although in a way, i was doing just that. spending time with my family was exceptionally fun and relaxing this year. surprisingly. the other years have been busy and hectic. there used to be no question to at least one large arguement. but this christmas was rather peaceful, and for our family and our neighbors, i am very greatful. although peace reigned in our house, it had no victory in my heart. consolidation and comfort, sure. there was a peace, but the occasional disurbances made an incomplete dominance of peace. but i'm content. sure...why not? might as well...gotta get up and keep goin.. yep..yep.. Current Mood: indescribable (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
2:28 pm	wwweeeeellll.....to update...we'll see how that previous thing goes.. uh....well let's see. this break we've been working on the video project. lots and lots. yeesh. but i think we have a good head start. :D um...lots and lots of hw...and...i don't feel good..so uh..i'll....go now.. Current Mood: uncomfortable (Comment on this)
Friday, December 26th, 2003
3:01 pm	the morning has flown. the afternoon is racing. none of these minutes, i own. this game, i'm not placing. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
3:56 pm	i think i've lost my best friend.... :'( Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
1:22 pm	IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS! hehe. well as to how i am, i am sorely dissappointed in an individual, harshly angry at another, and thoroughly disgusted with another. the one upstairs is really doin a good job knocking out all my crutches. and i thought my lesson was ending. hah! frick. RAAAAGH!!! :'( fack.fack fack fack. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! fack fack fack. i failed. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZ! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! Current Mood: distraught (Comment on this)
Monday, December 22nd, 2003
1:03 pm	and so, here comes the christmas season. are u guys ready!?!?? lol. I AM! too bad there's hw over the summer. ...did i say summer? hahaha! i meant break. oops. well lessee...not much goin on. sigh...guess i'll fill this out... [my name is]: serena [height?]: 5'6" [in the morning i am]: ..u don't wanna know [all i need is]: one more day with... [love is]: the most dangerous possession. be careful.. [if i could see one person right now]: josh/nora ...does that count? [i'm afraid of]: my ability to love [i dream about]: what will be -H A V E . Y O U . E V E R- [been in love]: in a way. before i woulda said yes, but now iono. hahaha! opposite of u rivers. [cried when someone died]: my little rabbit named peaches. she was only 3 weeks old -W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R- [coke or pepsi]: coke [flowers or candy]: flowers...white or multicolored/speckled [tall or short]: tall -W I T H . T H E . O P P O S I T E . S E X- [what do you notice first?]: dress [last person you slow danced with]: lemme see....MR. NOBODY he was awesome. :D [worst question to ask]: are you ok? -or- are you crying? -W H O- [makes you laugh the most?]: josh and nora [makes you smile]: josh, nora, jarrod [gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: tickles=> josh bubbles=> nora [who do you have a crush on?]: NO ONE!! why does everyone wanna know anywho? [has a crush on you?]: iono, and if i did, i wouldn't say. [easiest to talk to]: josh, nora -D O . Y O U . E V E R- [Stay on aim, waitin for someone special to IM you]: yep. kinda lame but hey... [save aol/aim conversations]: yep. u should see. i've got lots[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: o yes. [cry because of someone saying something to you]: unfortunately, quite a few times. in solitude.. -H A V E . Y O U . E V E R- [fallen for your best friend]: hahahhha....no [been rejected?]: yes [rejected someone]: yes! [been cheated on]: don't think so. [cheated on someone]: nopers [done something you regret]: ..why do we even need that question? -W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N - [you talked to on the phone]: cameron. bout the project [hugged]: eevonn [you instant messaged]: hmm...josh or jarrod. [instant messaged you?]: nathan [you laughed with]: sister -C U R R E N T L Y- [Current mood]: tired/tolerable [Current music]: "you make me high" - Jason Mraz [Current taste]: chocolate...heh... [Current hair]: messy bun [Current dress]: skin hahaha! jk. lol. pants shirt belt. [Current smell]: nachos [Current thing I should be doing]: work for the project [Current desktop picture]: BMW: the ultimate driving machine [Current windows open]: this one, music player [Current color of toenail]: regular... [Current worry]: project and grades [Current hate]: anal christmas shoppers -DO YOU- [Do drugs?]: eh...no? [Have sex?]: nopers [Sleep with stuffed animals?]: nope. [Live in the moment?]: sometimes. [Have a dream that keeps coming back?]: i have. the next one has yet to come. [Believe there is life on other planets?]: nope [Remember your first love?]: uh...sure [who?]:why you care? huh?? huh? wat u wanna piece of me!? heh..jk [Still love him/her?]: uh...in a small miniscule way [Have any gay friends?]: nope. [Believe in miracles?]: yep yep [Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?]: o ya [Consider yourself tolerant of others?]: hahaha! yes..except for a couple [Like the taste of alcohol?]: -no comment- [Have a favorite candy?]: hm...CHOCOLATE! [Believe in astrology?]: nope [Believe in God?]: yes [Go to church?]: yes [Have any pets?]: a dog and a bunny [Go to or plan to go to college?]: plan to. it's gonna be FUN!! [Wear hats?]: sometimes [Piercings?]: not yet [Have any tattoos?]: nope. but i've tried to give one with tanner. HAHAHAHHA!! rivers.... [Hate yourself?]: not anymore. :) [have an obsession?]: hehehe...no se [Collect anything?]: i wanna start DVD's [Have a best friend?]: yep. and proud of it. [Wish on stars?]: nope. [Like your handwriting?]: sometimes. [Have any bad habits?]: ooo ya [Care about looks?]: yes. but not too much mesa think [What side of the bed do you sleep on?]: watever i can get on my little itty bitty bed. [What can you never get enough of?]: my best friend [List one thing you're good at]: being an anxious butthole [Say the first lyric that comes to mind...now]: ..the temperature is dropping and it feels like, it's colder than it oughta be in march and i still got a day or two ahead of me 'for i'll be heading home, into your arms again... [Ever been in a band?]: nope [What are you in the mood for right now]: seeing my best friend [Say the first person that comes to mind]: josh [what did you do yesterday]: went to church, went to eat, cleaned the house, went to the great mall with my sister, her friend, and eevonn, and watched the lord of the rings : the return of the king. [Most annoying thing]: people who don't try [Do many people like your taste in music]: some do. :) [Hottest person ever]: hm..must i really think?...JOHNNY DEPP! [Least favorite singer/band]: uh...dunno. duncare [At what age would you like to be married]: 22-27 [Favorite bird]: stork or pelican [Who do you miss most]: josh, nora, *anonymous* [Best local band]: iono... [Were you picked on as a kid]: yes [Biggest secret]: like i'm gonna tell you. hah! 1 HOUR AGO: christmas shopping 1 DAY AGO: eating 1 WEEK AGO: in school. eeeeegh 1 YEAR AGO: packing for the mojave desert I HURT: self inflictedly I HATE: and then never resolve. baad I FEAR: abandonment and uncertainty (emotionally) I HOPE: ill find my heart I FEEL: hungry I HIDE: compulsively I DRIVE: my heart to ruin I MISS: the feeling of being made whole by another's company I LEARNED: to love unconditionally I NEED: to learn patience and to trust not in humans I THINK: that i will rejoice in the halls of my King one day. and my heart will be fulfilled to overflowing. there will be no more uncertainty because on that day, heart and mind will have only one purpose and only one desire, to praise Him who set me free. there will be no more distractions. (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 14th, 2003
3:00 pm	I NEED TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!! AAAAAAH!!!!! Current Mood: distressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 11th, 2003
3:46 pm	heeey all y'all! christmas is almost heeere!! i need to get presents!!aiya! but i've gotten one...hehe... well...2. 2 down, 4 to go. hum hum hum hum hum hum......well, the 11th. the 2 month anniversary of a rather unfortunate day. :( sigh... but onto other things. :) christmas is almost here!! wait...i already said it.. heh. right...well, tomorrow, i have a big test. a test on cellular respiration. a test on cellular respiration and photosynthesis. a test on cellular respiration and photosynthese that will ruin my life. gaah!! i hope it goes well. today i have another piano lesson. i hope that goes well too. uh....not much else to say... except season's greetings!! ...or farewells? ..... *walks away muttering* Current Mood: weird (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 7th, 2003
9:28 pm	hm...iambic quadrameter! <--is that the right word?? i never knew that wat i did could destroy & disperse my heart a storm has come , with wrath undid my gall, my courage, torn apart emotions stir, my love forbid my thoughts like scattered chaff depart no mixture of words 2 mutter no amount of tears 2 be shed can express nearly just as much as wat my heart has freely bled. -me Current Mood: concerned (Comment on this)
Friday, December 5th, 2003
7:25 pm	heey. so the whole confusion thing, that's a little better now. so..ya. just to say...lol. ya. but i g2g. so bye. :) i'll talk more later....i think. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
7:14 pm	wishlist hehehe.... 1. Pirates of the Carribean DVD 2. knife sharpener/stone 3. knife sharpening kit 4. pyro's lighter from X-men 2 5. stilleto heels 6. Death Cab for Cutie CD 7. knife 8. moooney. lol. i'm so in debt. Current Mood: full (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 29th, 2003
10:29 pm	hey. long time no write! not much new has happened. we've ben redecorating my mom's study and the entrance to our house. uh.... not much is new. i miss u guys tho. wish i could be there with u all. i'm still hoping fro brighter days here at smh. well let's see....recently, i was sick. and i'm still sick. i've been sick since....monday night. got a fever and lost 4 pounds. i think i'm gaing it back now tho. especially cuz it's after thanksgiving. we have like...3 pies and so much ice cream. then brownies from mrs. fields and candy from holloween. so crazy. sigh..no one's online. i'm so bored. so lonely. sigh. SOMEBODY COME ONLINE!!!!! o hey. gonna add some stuff to X-mas wishlist. :) 1. pirates of the carribean DVD 2. stilleto heals. lol. 3. Pyro's zippo from X-men2. Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 22nd, 2003
2:07 pm	booooooooored heeey u guys. pretty bored. "the hills are alive!! with the sound of music. wiht songs they have sung, for a htousand years. the hills fill my heart wiht the sound of music. my heart wants to sing every song it hears." hehehe. ya. bored. i don't wanna do my homework. bu5 i will have to go do it pretty soon. sigh. i want to go to this paaarty. but i don't have a ride and it'/s in fremont and i don't think anyone wants to bring me there. cuz it's far away. yep yep. not much new....i'm gonna go play with the camera. :) byyyyyyyeee Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Monday, November 17th, 2003
8:40 pm	cell cell number has changed. if u want it, talk to me at school or write me an email or leave me a comment. psh..ya right. i'm not gonna post it here.....:) (Comment on this)
Monday, November 10th, 2003
3:58 pm	know wat? screw that list. just bring me home, and i'll be content forever. not this house. not these facades. no. home. i want to go home.... but about yesturday.. i had the bestest time. :) got to see my best friend josho. :D good times good times. went to see elf. brought my friend anna from beacon. some of u's might know her. but i doubt it. twas fun. hung out for half hour before the movie, watched it, then went to eat at in-n-out. first, anna got to my house, gave her a hug :), brought her down to sunnyvale with my dad and tonia. got to the theatres, found josh, ran over and gave him a biiig hug, and got our tickets. i was so jittery. :) so exciiited all daaaaay. hehehe...twas so fun. my dad and tonia went to see "brother bear." hehehe...the best day i've had in a looong while. movie was pretty funny too. i was pretty skeptical before the movie but it was pretty good. ya. :) before we left for sunnyvale, went to church, and went to my cousin's eighteenth birthday. that was fun. had so much iiice cream. :) and i beat my cousin at chess too. hehe. had awesome food. aawesome. :) came back after the movie, did some homework, called alison bell. caught up a bit. :) awesome possum. and then today started. my high from seeing my home last night was still flowing. ran all the way through to lunch too. then it fell. pretty harsh. sigh. it'll pass...it'll pass....it'll pass...it'll pass... Current Mood: melancholy (Comment on this)
Friday, November 7th, 2003
5:49 pm	hi guuuys. haven't written in a while. not much new. getting to know more people. life at school isn't as lonely any more. but i still give this place a c.. hehe. not much else to say. ooo! bout a christmas gift list...lol. i'll just put this now. and if u guys got requests, or even read this thing, u can put in requests and i'll see wat i can do. hehehehe.... ok. 1. knife sharpening kit 2. new knife 3. money 4. the zippo from X2 the movie or some like..inside joke thingy i guess. hm..dunno. i'll think bout if i have more i guess. sigh.. i'm tired.. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 1st, 2003
9:48 pm	hey u guys. haven't written in a while. i shall update you. first of all, school. acquaintances have grown. :) it's nice getting a smile when u'r walking down the hall. subjects have been inmproving. english, me recent F, i hope is being raised by my greatly improved quiz scores. the grammar test should help me a bit...i hope. then my C in AP Bio. that's...still the same last time i checked. but we had part of our test yesturday and i think i did relatively well. i'm more familiar with this section. stupid chemistry....*glares*. ok. done with that... then lesseee...math i think is going ok. PE, mr. ewing likes us. wahoo! good thing too. otherwise we'd be in deeep pooooooo. second, Cameron. i called him the other day, and we've broken up. iono if he's told anyone, or accepted it yet..i think he's still in denial that it has ended. :-/ i feel sry for him. as for reasons why? those i will not disclose unless u are a couple people...cough cough. ya. it was a month and a week. farewell cam. prayin. third, my piano lessons have been ok. i don't feel all that nervous there anymore. which is a very good thing i must say, cuz it makes me make mistakes and that's not good. i really should od my theory hw tho..sigh... fourth, i miss everyone in sunnyvale sooooo baaad. i'm aching to see u guys again. this past weekend has really hit me witht he urge to get down there. i almost ditched school to go with em. we have to meet up one day. Fifth, family life at home has botten a little better. relations tween me and my mom anddad are a little better. getting there i guess. sigh....we'll see how things go. and now i must leave. c u guys later. :) Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Friday, October 17th, 2003
4:14 pm	i done a stupid thing. done a terribly stupid thing. maybe one day i can tell u all and warn you. but wait until then, wait please. don't do anything.......just wait..... idiocracy has fought its way in, like a sperm it has fought, burrowed,and a child has been formed.a child. one like no other. it will never die. it will never grow old. it will never need my protection. it will never change. it will haunt me for the rest of my life, having changed the flow of life in me, forever a knot in the grain. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 9th, 2003
4:16 pm	o hey. one more poem. this was also a loooooooong time ago. but i still like it. :) outside, the wind howls outside, the rain attacks outside, the storm rages outside. warmth it lacks. outside, her breath is hostile outside, her hands reaching outisde, her eyes are piercing outside, she is weeping. so where am i then? loved and safe, inside? where is this sacred haven that in warmth i can abide? i know where i am i know who it is that watches His love is the warmth stronger than all matches. His heart is my heater His hand, my bed His voice my blanket His words a pillow for my head. His wisdom as the food i eat His understanding as the water i drink His stories as my movies i try so hard not to blink for inside are many wonders inside, the hearth is warm inside, the air is calm inside, we should all swarm. inside, His breath is soothing inside, His hands are welcoming inside, His eyes are gentle inside, there is rejoicing. (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 4th, 2003
9:55 pm	heeeeeey heeey u guys. wadups? lol. haven't written in a while. i have a new song stuck in my head. GO BEATLES! lol. ok. uuumm......nething new? lesseeeee........ i saw "school of rock"!!!! it's such an awesome moooviiiie!!! hahaha. oo...dear dear dear. today was fun. got 2 hrs of piano done this morning, along with cleaning my room, folding clothes, dishes. and....sumat else. iono. but ya. in record time too. hehe... then i went to an optometrist appointment and then went to nora's house, hung out, then went to see a movie. and i have to go. egh. ok. bye bye!! Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)